Christmas poem sexy

That's the end of the heads up. Thank goodness they're once a year affairs. It sounds from the title as though it's going to be a poem about overindulgence, but it's much darker and less pelasant than that. This machine was created by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. An unusually appropriate present for a sex obsessed, spotty and priapic teenager leads to wild speculation as to the donor.

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He touched her neck and then her breast And her legs, low at first, then high He was drooling now, "I love this bird" He thought, as he felt her thigh. For the uninitiated, knicks are synonymous with knickers. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. He knew better, did the Christmas robin — The murderous robin with his breast aglow and legs apart, in a spade-handle perched: He prophesied more snow, and worse than snow.

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More Dirty Christmas Poems for Teens and Adults

I love you oh so very much Totally, completely From the very top of my head To the bottom of my feetly. To conclude the trio, a poem about Christmas garters. Ruby The Red Nosed Bimbo A jolly, jaunty and distinctly naughty poem about the antics of the red nosed bimbo. Father And Christmas A poem which is hardly dirty at all, but provides an opportunity either to get your eye in or, if offended, storm off in disgust. A dream, a wish list and a fantasy all rolled into one delicious little poem.

As a trailer, here's examples of what can be found elsewhere. Father And Christmas A poem which is hardly dirty at all, but provides an opportunity either to get your eye in or, if offended, storm off in disgust. There are plenty of songs about Christmas that turn uncomfortably sexual, with the most notable and, perhaps, most problematic example being "Baby, It's Cold Outside. The poem ends with the glorious sentiment:. And even if the line, "Come and trim my Christmas tree," wasn't originally meant to be graphic, it has taken on a whole new meaning for modern listeners. I haven't rode a lot of roller coasters or ridden in open air buses, but I have visited with senators, bought yams from the back of a truck and barely escaped complete embarrassment when I was introduced to Matt Wiener in Vegas. Tim and me, a-huntin' went.